"When you point one finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back to you."
The paradigm of perfection is everywhere you look in today's world.
From people faking a life in social media to big companies that demand their employees great productivity with no flaws.
We tend to believe that if we are perceived as being perfect we are on the way to success!
This causes us all, at some point, to have an automatic reaction when something goes wrong in our lives: It wasn't me, it was him! The paradigm of perfection creates the blame game.
People tend to blame others when something goes wrong because they don't want to be perceived as weak and incompetent. Plus, if the other is blamed for it, it represents one less people they have to worry about on their rise to success.
But contrary to common belief, this won't get you far. Blaming is an easy way out of your problems, but it won't fix them, it just delays them and in some cases it can even create bigger problems.
The truth always comes to surface, for a better understanding of the issue, check out some more ways of how blaming others for your problems can diminish by far your chances of succeed:
How Blaming Others For Your Problems Is Hurting Your Success
1. You're Not Taking Responsibility For Your Problems
The title says it all. If they are your problems, who should take responsibility for them? Yourself, of course!
When you blame others you take away your responsibility from something that's yours, something that you did not someone else.
Yet, people still do it. That's not grown up stuff, that reminds me of childhood, when it was acceptable to blame our parents for some things. But not anymore!
If you created the problem, it's on you to solve it.
Of course you can ask people for help, that's different from blaming. Solving a problem means that you will engage in the actions to solve it, you will researching for the available resources to create a solution.
But still, you are the main actor of this picture. If you don't take your role, and you blame others guess what?
The people you blame won't solve your problem, the problem will be there to aunt you, and that's not success.
2. You're Not Learning With The Process
To reach success you must learn from failure.
When you perform the necessary tasks, to get you to our goals, you are not immune to mistakes. You'll make some, for sure.
When you blame, again, you are taking responsibility away from your mistakes.
If you don't feel like you made an error, you will never correct that error.
The negative consequence is that you'll not learn your lesson, the lessons you need to learn from failure.
You will do the same old thing and you'll get the same old result. Because you didn't learn from your errors, in fact, you keep on you repeating them.
But if you fail and assume your mistakes, next time around you'll try to correct those mistakes. You'll will get better and better with the process, you will change the things you're doing, eventually they will work, and make you reach success.
Success is all about growth, it starts from within, if you have to develop yourself to get there.
Blaming others for your mistakes takes away all the valuable lessons you can learn trough failure, and it will hurt your chances of succeeding.
3. You're Putting People On The Spot For Something They Didn't Do
Whoa! That''s rude and far from ethical. But even more destructive than you think.
Success is not an individual journey, you need to have a team that can help you reach what you want.
It requires you to be extremely humble, willing to learn from others and help people out with their problems.
But here's the kicker, if you can't even take responsibility for your problems, how will you be able to help people with their problems?
How can you have a team and make a team effort if you're destroying the team inside, by blaming members of the team for your actions?
That's just not the way to go, putting people on the spot for something that you did, can really hurt your success.
4. People Stop Trusting You
If you blame people once, maybe you can get away with it (it's wrong still, but sometimes it happens). If you do it too often it becomes a pattern.
You think people will not notice it? Of course they will!
If you do it time and time again, it starts to shape your identity. They will start to label you as the one that takes no responsibility for his actions. and just blames others, be careful when you deal with him!
This makes people stop trusting you, and to reach success you need to be a trustworthy person.
People need to know you can get the job done, they need to trust your skills and your capability. Business opportunities and partnerships are born this way, and success it's all about opportunity, making the right connections and developing relationships.
Don't take yours away by simply playing the childish blame game.
5. Your Fear Of Getting In Trouble Gets You In Even More Trouble
This is the ultimate consequence of how blaming others for your problems can hurt your success.
Blaming can be an unconscious reaction, something you do by default because you fear others reactions and that your reputation will be hurt when people find out you did it.
You automatically reject your responsibility because you are afraid of the pain and trouble that you might get into.
The big news is this: you might not get in trouble right way when you blame, but you will definitively get in trouble later.
Just imagine you're doing your work and you make a mistake. Quickly your boss notices the mistake but he can't tell exactly who did it. He asks you, you say it was Michael. Uff the boss leaves you alone you feel relieved. But then he asks Michael, even if Mike doesn't know who did he will swear it wasn't him, if he does know and points to you, you are already in trouble. Your boss now is confused, he will find out the truth by any means. Ok he gets it, it was you!
What do you prefer?
- To take the pain of your boss knowing right away that you made that mistake?
- Or to take the huge of pain of your boss finding out you did it but you decided to hide it from him, and blame other person?
The first can get your boss irritated but he knows your honored, you recognized and took the blame for your errors.
The second one, whoa! It can get your boss real angry, trust is broken, you can get fired because of it!
You blamed other person because you feared getting in trouble, but the result of blaming others for your problems just got you a bigger trouble.
It's always better to take responsibility for your actions than to blame others for something that you did in the first place.
Hope you liked this article and you can find enough reasons to stop blaming others for your problems, and find way to solve them.
Share this page with your family and friends to alert them to the troubles blaming can get them into.
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