How To Deal With Toxic People And Not Let Them Ruin Your Life

Have you ever come across a person that is very negative towards life, and it seems only happy by seeing others suffering and feeling misery?

Probably you have, and you find very hard to be around that specific individual. Because he keeps on putting your dreams down, keeps on draining your energy and he just feels good about it!

Well, you have met a prime example of what is know to be toxic people. People that want to rise in life at any cost, they maneuver their ways up by spreading their poisoned words and obscure methods, intoxicating the environment so others can fall and they prosper. 

It can be anyone you know, literally, from your partner to a friend, from a co-worker to random people in the street. You must be aware of toxic people for your own sake.

The first problem with this, is that toxic people are hard to be identified until it's too late. The second is, once you do know who they are, what you should do to deal with them?

To help you out and to keep your life in a positive note, we came up with 21 ways on how you can deal with toxic people before they ruin your life.

21 Ways On How To Deal With Toxic People and Not Let Them Ruin Your Life

1. Stop Hanging On To Something That Hurts You

This needs to be clear in your head. Toxic people are affecting your life and draining it, as much as they can. 

But as human beings we develop the habit of attachment, we hang on to something just because we are afraid of losing it. Even if that something has a negative impact in our lives, we still feel comfortable by having them around.

Switch that, get from comfortable to uncomfortable, develop reasons for doing it, reasons that must be stronger than usual soft excuses.

You will see that you can profit more by not having this person around or controlling your thoughts. 

So stop hanging on to them, hoping they will change, they will not!

2. Adopt A Strategy For That Relationship 

First advise, if you can get them out of your life, that's exactly what you should do.

But, some toxic people belong to your family, or they are co-workers, or friends of your long time friends, you just can't get rid of them in a snap of a finger.

Somehow your life has something dependent on them. If so, you need to adopt a strategy on how to deal with that specific relationship. 

They know you depend on them for something and that's why they manipulate you, they know you just can't disconnect because you will lose that something also.

So start to plan your actions, build your strategy, you can use the other ways provided in this article to do it.

3. Clearly Understand What They Want

It's easier to deal with toxic people and identify them when you know exactly what they want.

Usually they are manipulators, gossipers and/or obsessed with power. They diminish others so they can shine. 

When you understand who they really are and want, you'll not feel attached to them no more, your feelings toward them change and you're ready to take the necessary action. 

You can't trust a sheep no more when you realize that sheep is a wolf in sheep's clothes.

4. Notice The Change In Their Behavior 

If you want to learn how to deal with toxic people you must sharp your observation skills. 

Toxic people take advantage of others because most people aren't aware of their actions and intents. 

Common people just go by the flow living their life and don't notice the premeditated acts of toxic people.

But you can clearly identify toxic people if you pay close attention to their behavior. Specially when they're around someone they need, they act different when they're by themselves. There is a drastic change in the way they behave. 

Notice this and you will be ahead, ready to deal with them in a better way.

5. Beware Of Manipulation Or Blackmail 

By identifying toxic people you will know who they are, but that's not enough. You have to know when they are trying to take advantage of you or trying to poison your thoughts.

Manipulation and blackmail are usual methods they use to control you. 

Don't let yourself get caught. Always take the higher road, don't sweat about small stuff, you have bigger purposes and things to worry about.

6. Trust Yourself Always 

Yes! They will try to change your behavior to make you go the way they want you to go. 

Always keep in mind your beliefs and values, probably they will collide with toxic people intents.

The best tool you have to deal with this is to trust yourself always. You know who you are and what shapes you as a person. Don't let them change you.

There will be times of doubt and confusion, that toxic people will try to explore, but don't fall into their trap, keep on doing what you must do by trusting yourself.  

7. Have Strong Goals And Habits

Connected with the above, if you have strong goals and develop a set of strong habits you can build a stronger your. Trusting yourself and your gut will be an easier task.

You must be a determined person that has goals to be attained, you're not lazy about personal development and you are willing to become the best version you can be. No one can shake or trouble you if act according to the above.

Personal power is a force toxic people just can't deal with. 

Be strong on the inside so you can display strength and power on the outside.

8. Focus On Your Tasks

Toxic people have an agenda, they think small and selfish. 

You must have your own agenda, a bigger way of thinking that is not easily disturbed by small intents.

Focus on doing your daily tasks that will lead you to achieve your goals. Have your mind occupied by these tasks.

You will not have time to worry about toxic people actions nor you will let toxic people control your thoughts.

9. Don't Feed Their Negative Energy

Sure you can avoid toxic people, but there will always be some kind of interaction between you and them. 

They will try to get some kind of reaction from you: They will do things to annoy you, disturb you, make you feel angry, try to get you out of your own self, try get you to be aggressive and out of character.

All those things toxic people do represent negative energy. If you must respond, always answer from a positive place, be a source of positive energy.

If they talk to you, do listen but realize what they are trying to do. 

Be yourself don't become them!

Kindly answer but keep a smile in your face.

If they blame you for something, don't rush to give an answer, focus on providing a wise solution to the problem.

If they gossip about someone, don't gossip talk respectfully about that person, and so on.

10. Establish Limits 

This is how you avoid toxic people, by establishing limits to your relationship with them. Anything can do the trick, as long as it avoids your contact with them or that they control you.

A good example in this era can be, to block them in social media without their knowledge. 

If you are co-workers just stick to the professional tasks and nothing more.

If they are members of your family, just hang with them in obligatory family meetings and such.

If they are your partner, establish what you don't want no more in that relationship, if they accept and comply good, if not... it's time to move on!

Toxic people love to break limits, so you must really establish them in your mind and hold a firm grip. 

11. Avoid Angry Reactions Or Cold Temperament

Toxic people want to get the best of you, intoxicate you enough that you are poisoned to do what they want.

Be aware of this, there's one simple rule: you can't give them what they want!

Don't let them poison you, but sometimes they might get away with it, and that's time to take the antidote.

Breathe deep, ask yourself what's your goal in that particular situation? What will you lose by getting into an argument? Is it worth it?

Cool heads must prevail, toxic people aren't worthy of your anger or rage, keep your cool always.

12. One Positive Deed Doesn't Balance All The Negatives

Toxic people will understand that you don't like them. They will try to please you with a fake act of kindness.

Don't fall for it, they know you value kindness and they are trying to explore it as a weakness.

One positive deed they might do doesn't counter balance all the negative deeds they've done to you in the past.

Sure you can thank their attention and be pleased by it, but inside know better...

They are trying to play an old trick on you, don't play that game. Judge the whole package not just the cover. 

13. Don't Believe Their Kind Acts To Others

Not only they will try to trick you, but their whole behavior will consist of false actions and slick talk with other people.

Everyone around them is being tricked. This influences people that don't know them to believe they are good people, trust worthy.

You too will be influenced by this, and sometimes feel puzzled: "Is it just me? I am seeing things wrong?"

Again, know better, this is why it's so important that you develop great observation skills. By doing so you won't get confused by their acts, instead you automatically will know when they are faking it.

Your mind will not value any of their fake kindness and you will not get influenced by it.

14. Stop Giving Them Excuses

Yes a pure and kind heart is great but it can hurt you! Sometimes, we don't want to be so hard on them and we give toxic people a break.

We try to be comprehensive and start to feel compassionate about them, feeling pity. We excuse their acts and feel good about it actually. 

But they are trying to get away with it, by giving them an excuse you're giving them room to operate in their evil driven ways.

They will hang on to that little room you gave them and exploit it. It can really be the start of your downfall, be careful.

Don't excuse their acts in your heart, stay sharp and keep an open eye.

15. Avoid Their Conflict Desires 

Remember Star Wars, when Darth Vader and the Emperor were trying to exploit Luke's inner conflict and anger to turn him to the dark side?

That's kind of how this works, toxic people want conflict by any means, they want to turn you into them.

Arguments and altercations is what they are pros in. Again, it's a game they are trying to play and trick you into.

Waste no time arguing with toxic people, they don't want to know about your logical ways. Therefore it's a fight you can't win. 

They can be compared to agent of chaos. Do like Luke did, don't fall into this trap, follow the higher path.

16. Don't Be Alone With Them

Another thing to keep in mind when you deal with toxic people. Sometimes they will want to catch  you when you're by yourself, so they can influence you better and go all the way with you. 

On the other side, when they are with company around they will act softer and won't try to go so far with you. Because everybody is watching.

So avoid situations when you are alone with them only.

If you can't get away from toxic people, at least try to be in their presence with a group of people that will support you.

17. Get Around Positive People

Maybe that toxic person in your life is someone that you are used to be around in your daily life. This is again the attachment problem.

You know you need to avoid them, but you can't break the habit.

You can see this clearly in love relationships that have their days numbered, yet two people still hang with each other for a long time despite, not loving each other anymore.

The way to break this, of course, is to have the courage to break up the relationship, but when you do that... cravings for your former partner slowly start to come in.

This is time to move on, get to know new and exciting people that mean more to you. You will forget your ex and find a better person to live with. 

This is a prime example of what you should do regarding toxic people.

Get around positive people that will spark positive thoughts in your head constantly. So much that it's really hard to get intoxicated by toxic ones.

18. Stop Whining About Them

You know what's worst than toxic people?

People that don't stop whining about what toxic people did to them.

This is also one of their intents, to make you look like a crying baby that just annoys people with their complaints.

Why? First most people will not hear you, they don't care about complaints. Second the ones that will hear you, probably won't believe you, they're poisoned by toxic people.

Whining won't take you anywhere, it can make it worst actually.

19. Accept That It Will Take Time

You found out that his person isn't what you thought she was. Great!

Now can you cut the strings that attach you to this person right away? If you can, there's no more to it.

Most times you can't, so you need to understand that his might take a while. Also, you know this person is no good, but the ones around you won't believe it just because you tell them. They need time to understand it.

Dealing with toxic people and progressively disconnect from them can be a slow process.

So accept it as it is. It will take the time it has to take, keep on doing the things you should do to avoid them and it will work out fine in the long run.

20. You Can Forgive But Never Forget

Forgiveness is a blessing, keep no hate or jealously inside. Instead just forgive, and move on.

But one thing you can't do is to forget. Toxic people will try to manipulate you into think they have changed and they deserve a second chance.

At the first opportunity they get, they will return to their former self, excuse me, their original and unique self.

So do forgive, but never forget what they did to you.

21. Don't Seek For Revenge, Seek For Justice

I learn this while reading Alexander Dumas book, The Count Of Monte Cristo.

The main character Edmont Dantes, seeks revenge from his enemies that did him dirt and ruined his life when he was younger. At the end Edmont gets his revenge, all his former enemies fall, but sadly he ends up empty with nothing else to live for. 

I vibe to the book of course, and revenge can be a sweet thing to achieve. But it can really consume you if it's the only thing you live for.

If you only look for revenge, your life can become empty once you accomplished it. 

Instead look for justice, not the justice system but life justice! The ones that did you dirt have their day coming. Focus on improving yourself not letting toxic people take the best of you.

The thing is, toxic people will not only try to keep you off track, but other people as well. So, there will come a time when it's not just you that knows about their dirty behavior, but a whole bunch of people!

This is a sign, that eventually, their days of grace will be over soon. 

Frank Sinatra once said: "The best revenge is massive success."

So, don't lose your cool, keep doing your tasks, focusing on improving yourself and the ones around you by being a force of positive energy.

Life will reward you and penalize toxic people in the long run for sure.

Share this article so your friends and family know how to deal with toxic people in their lives.

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