How many of us have felt this situation before? You feel like you're doing a great job but other people simply don't value your work.
Even in relationships these type of feelings can happen: you are being your best version but the person that's beside you, simply doesn't understand you, or, values what you're doing.
It can happen to us all, and there is a simple explanation to it: people like people that is similar to them! People have the difficulty of accepting others as they are.
If you don't fall into their category, bad luck! Nah! If you're a reader of this blog you know we don't take things simply a matter of luck.
Let's analyze these different situations:
- You're a great professional, you have value (you know your craft and you're capable of doing great things), but your co-workers try to downplay your work, sabotage it and never give you credit for it, you're being tolerated at your job.
- You are in a relationship where she/he, asks you to change your personality just because her/his friends will like better that way, you're being tolerated in your relationship.
- Another sign of being tolerated is when supposed "friends" just want you to be around because you have something they can profit from. Once you don't have it they don't call you or answer your calls anymore.
All these examples might be frustrating for the person that's being tolerated, it just looks like you can't escape this status.
But guess what? You have the power to change all these situations! You don't need anyone's approval!
You simply need to go where you're celebrated! Not where you're tolerated.
Instead of changing yourself just to fit in, NO! Carry on being yourself and be proud to fit out, if you have to. And don't worry, because the right people will find you along the way.
To get a deeper meaning of this famous saying, we'll provide you with more reasons why you should adopt this philosophy:
Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated
1. Are You Tolerated?
Most times people tolerate you because they lack your vision, they don't see what you're seeing, so they don't understand your being. Makes sense right?
People might tolerate you also because your existence overshadows theirs. Probably because they want what you have, or, they want power and control over a specific situation.
You're being tolerated if these situations happen to you, if people:
- Constantly label you and put you in a box, when you know that you're better than that.
- Shut down your dreams and ambitions, with harsh words and critics.
- Want to control the way you behave and interact with others.
- Just call you to hang out because you have something to offer.
- Don't even care to listen to you and they just want to talk about them.
- Downplay your achievements, and just worry about them being left behind.
Read this carefully, you don't have to become what they want you to become.
Identify the ones that celebrate you and start surround yourself with them.
2. Who Celebrates You?
Who are those friends that you just can't wait to be around? Because they simply talk life into you!
People that celebrate your being, they love your personality and fully understand who you are.
Who are they? People that light your inner fire and you light their inner fire! They just irradiate powerful energy into your soul.
Individuals that support your actions and encourage you to do even more, as you're achieving the things you want.
People that celebrate you are your support group! They can be members of your family, friends, co-workers, mentors and people that encourage you.
Of course, not all will support you, so it's on you to figure out from those people, the ones that celebrate you.
Sometimes, not just people but intangible things, for instance let's say your professional career.
You work at the bank for 7 years now, but what juices you is writing and you actually are good at it. You can publish a book and be a professional writer. You need to go where you're celebrated (writing) and leave where you're tolerated (the bank).
Time to find out the things and the people that excite you, and your good to go!
3. You Biggest Flaw Can Be Your Biggest Asset
Most times, when tolerant people criticize you they're coming from a place of envy or jealousy. The biggest mistake we can make is to try to be accepted and start to correct what they saying it's wrong.
You should take critics into consideration, but for a different reason. Those things that annoy people are the things that make you different from anyone else. So you should pay attention, but from a different perspective.
The biggest flaw they see in you, can be your biggest asset!
People didn't support Bruce Springsteen when he started out, what did they criticize? His voice! What makes Springsteen a legendary music act? His voice! Go it!?
Directors didn't want Arnold Schwarzenegger in their movies back in the 70's, because of his big physique and poor accent. What was are of the biggest assets of Arnold's big movie career? His big body and great quotes with his distinguished accent. Understand?!
If critics don't understand what they're seeing or hearing, you have to be strong and carry on with your convictions. Who knows? What they censure can be the thing you must focus on and keep on developing.
If you want to create something no one has ever done, how do you expect somebody to accept it as a regular thing? They won't, but that doesn't mean you must give up.
You need to know yourself very well, and believe in your own capabilities. Of course, having a great support group on your side will help you to understand that too.
4. Stay Authentic
Talking about knowing yourself really deep, we can't leave this piece out. You have to understand who you are and what excites you.
What are your passions? What are your skills? How do you define yourself as a person?
Don't get tricky on this, be really honest. You have to look for your best version, and if you act as so, you have nothing to worry about.
People will like you for who you are, not for what you pretend to be. That's why authenticity is a must if you want to be celebrated.
Your mindset shouldn't be "what do people like?", forget what they like, you'll kill yourself just to satisfy others and get empty inside! That's pretending right?
To be authentic the first question you should ask is "what do I like?" and start to act accordingly. From that point on, some people will tolerate you, some people people will celebrate you.
But because you were authentic now you can understand the ones that should remain in your life. And being recognized (celebrated) by being authentic it will fulfill you more than you can possibly imagine.
5. Don't Tolerate, Just Celebrate!
Now it's time to give back!
You don't like to be tolerated? It's your turn to celebrate the ones around you.
Even the ones that you don't like, it doesn't matter. Of course you should prioritize and focus on the ones that you care the most.
But be a force of positivity, motivate and encourage people around you (yourself included!)
- Call your friend you haven't called for a while and tell him that you admire him.
- Text that person you had a business relationship with, remember them about great and successful times that prompt you to be where you are.
- Celebrate life to the fullest living each day with happiness and passion.
- If you're able to financially...turn your hobby or passion into a career!
Now it's your job to celebrate the people around, continue to...
Be GREAT!
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